Author Archives: Dorothy Dalton

Why you should network with recruiters/search consultants even when you have a job!

Why it’s important to network with recruiters

The value of passive candidates

I saw a post from someone recently complaining quite vociferously about being contacted by a head hunter. The message from this individual, was that if he was looking for a job he would **#!** well let them know. I checked out his LinkedIn profile and his contact settings were “open for job inquiries”. So I was a little surprised as you might imagine, at the ferocity of his feelings, his diatribe taking up a whole page.

I am very lucky.

Most people are happy to hear from me. I am highly visible and it’s easy to check out my credentials. If on the rare occasion they are not, I thank them for their time and invite them to stay in touch. Most are super accommodating and know well that the next call they get from me could be the opportunity of a life time. Those that aren’t – I remember! First impressions really do count.

Why a polite two minute networking conversation is so important

Even if you are not active on the job market it is always useful being open towards approach calls. I can understand multiple calls can become intrusive. However, simply changing contact settings on LinkedIn will deter all but the most crassly insensitive.

Future Opportunities

The latest Market Research from Execunet indicates that search companies contact 65% of candidates via networking and their own data bases, with an additional 14% coming from general research ( passive candidate identification). A number of openings are not advertised widely (it’s not as many as the urban myths maintain) which has become known as “the hidden job market.” This is more of a networked market and means that individuals need to make themselves highly visible to search professionals or directly in contact with them.

A good recruiter or search consultant will help you stay in touch with the job market and will contact you for any matching opportunities. This is not just about you! This is also the best way he can serve his client. It is why it is always useful to send a strongly keyworded resume to a head hunter, even if there is no interest at that particular moment, because the company will upload it onto their data base for future reference. Or easier still, as this will take only seconds, connect on any internet professional platform, LinkedIn, Viadeo, Xing etc.

Just as importantly make sure your profile is always up to date. This allows you to appear in any appropriate searches and facilitates contact when a potential opportunity arises in the future, even if it’s years later.

Disloyal

Some individuals have also expressed concern about being openly connected to search professionals in this way. They fear it may be seen as a sign of instability or disloyalty to their existing employer. Truthfully, as companies are very willing to lay off employees as we have seen, the concept of loyalty is being constantly redefined. My own view that not to work with reputable professionals or specialists is simply short-sighted.

It will be these very same people who at the first sign of a problem begin to panic and complain about recruiters not making time for them. Search consultants work for their clients, not you, so the best time to cultivate them is when they call you.

The lesson that has been well learned during over the years is that strategic ongoing wide networking and raising visibility in this day and age should no longer be the preserve of the dynamic go-getter, but imperative for everyone.

As we know, there is great strength in a weak network!

If you need support with your networking strategy – get in touch NOW!

Updated in 2021

Why onboarding is vital

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Onboarding And why probationary periods are Ok

So you’ve created a winning resume, negotiated any number of telephone screenings, sailed through all the face to face interviews, maybe even aced the behavioural tests. Finally you are opening that coveted offer letter. Your heart races as you realise you’ve landed a great job, maybe a salary increase and fantastic future career opportunities.

But one phrase stands out, casting a dark shadow over a great moment ” subject to the satisfactory completion of a x month probationary period”

What does this mean?

This pretty much means what it says. Before your contract will be definitively confirmed, you need to successfully complete a x month trial period. Does this mean that you will be giving up a job for a position that isn’t necessarily secure? Well, yes actually it does.

But before you get into a flat spin let’s take a closer look. Hiring companies invest thousands of dollars/euros/pounds in a selection process. There will also be an impact on revenue during the period the position is open and in any subsequent onboarding process which can take up to a year. The company want you to hit peak efficiency as early as possible and should be doing everything they can to make sure that happens.

According to research by the Wynhurst Group, new employees who go through a structured on-boarding programme are 58% more likely to be with the organization after three years and the cost of losing an employee in the first year is estimated to be at least three times their salary.

Worst case scenario

So no one wants you to leave! You will also have left a job and probably don’t fancy the idea of unemployment appearing in your short-term future. So both parties are heavily invested in making sure that the appointment and transition period are successful.

What is being catered for is a worst case scenario which allows all involved an easier exit strategy with a specified notice period. It is usually more about cultural and team fit than core competencies, those indefinable and intangible things that come about when people interact with each other in any relationship or organisation. It’s a bit like dating – without being dumped overnight.

What is onboarding ?

Wally Bock suggests somewhat cynically that the term onboarding has been made up by people ” ..who revel in jargon…. it means many different things to different people …who have different ideas about where it starts and ends and what is and isn’t included ..”

That’s certainly true. Essentially it is the process that will accelerate the new employee’s learning curve and increase the chances of early effectiveness and productivity for the new hire and also reduce the possibility of early attrition ( biz speak for you resigning). Where it starts and finishes will vary from one organisation to another and for some companies includes the interviewing and hiring process.

On arrival the new appointee should be given detailed information not only about the location of the coffee machine, internet passwords and the position they’ve just accepted, but also key company information, as well as insights into corporate culture, ethics and vision.

Jane Perdue, CEO of the Braithwaite Group told me that in her corporate HR days, programmes could last 1 week or 6 months depending on the level of the position “the perspective was to teach culture, process, procedure and not let the water cooler conversations be the only introduction that new folks receive.”

Hiring phase

In an ideal world employers will have covered many of the issues that could result in early attrition in the pre-offer stage, through clear and open communication to avoid any surprises, or worse still, shocks. At the point of making an offer , the hiring management team should have examined the fit of the new appointee, not just with the profile, but with the new boss and the existing team. Plans should have been made to fill any anticipated skill set gaps.

The existing team

The arrival of a new team member or even boss, also causes the existing team members to be in transition, so any impact on that dynamic should also be appraised. Any anticipated repercussions both positive and negative have to be factored in. This is a bit like bringing a new baby home! Some ” family ” members will adapt quickly, others may take longer and sometimes some members may not like the fact that the “baby” is there at all and react badly. Ideally contingency plans will be in place and the situation reviewed regularly, so that early steps can be taken to resolve any issues.

So what should be clear to both parties?

A job description should exist with defined, achievable goals.
The review method should be stated and transparent with regular review periods and clear feedback.
Reporting lines should be outlined and all parties involved in the review process will be clear.
Methods of preferred communication should be made clear. If there is a flat, open door, informal culture then new hires need to know that. If the line mangers prefer written reports and formally scheduled interviews that needs to be clear too.
A mentoring structure should exist either internally or through the provision of an external coach.
Provision should be made to cover any periods of sickness.
How the organisations measures success and how they will support you to achieve those goals.

Wally adds sagely ” We know that their first impressions of our shop are going to be important and lasting. So we want to make the process of getting hired, joining the company, and becoming a productive member of it as effective and seamless as possible. I just don’t know what parts of that constitute “onboarding”

Possibly all of it! A successful onboarding process should provide an opportunity to align the expectations of all the players for the best possible outcome for all concerned.

Everyone should be happy! Right?

If you need support with your onboarding programmes get in touch NOW!

Career strategist or job hopper?

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Job hopping: career planning or terminal unreliability?

In the past two weeks I have come across a number of polarised attitudes to career movement. One person’s creative attempts to acquire transferable skills by gaining experience and seizing opportunities in a variety of different sectors, functions or geographic areas, can be perceived by others as opportunistic job hopping and a sure sign of fickleness and lack of commitment.

The term job hopper is pejorative.

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On the other hand, some see a loyal and conscientious employee, who has spent many years with the same organisation, as stagnating and complacent, fearful of moving out of their comfort zone. Additionally, any individuals attempting to use career moves for salary leverage, can be perceived equally as either brazenly money grabbing, or simply smart and strategic by both current and future employers.

So where does the truth lie?

There was a time two generations ago when individuals entered the workplace and joined a company for life. Those days are gone. Today many people by the time they are 30, could have as many as 8 jobs, if that includes vacation work and internships. Gen Y we are told, when they find one, will see each job as a project and will be looking for change every 18 months. I have clients who struggle at the slightest hint of a “job hopper” and perceive this to be a sure sign of terminal unreliability.

The answer is that regular changes of jobs can be viewed in a number of ways and this is what makes it difficult to assess. It can indeed be creative career planning. It can truthfully also be a sign of what my old economics teacher used to call lack of ” stickability”. It could also simply indicate an unstable or volatile economy, when last in, is first out. Just as equally loyalty to a company could indeed be perceived as lack of vision and an inability to handle change.

But what seems to be going on, on both sides of the hiring divide, is a change in attitude to the way “human capital” makes a contribution in a modern industrial and business world. That still seems to leave some unanswered questions.

“How many jobs are too many? How many jobs are enough?”

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So perhaps what we should be considering is not the length of service, but the results achieved in different positions and the value added and acquired. What is better for a referee to say – “He/she was with me 2 years, did an excellent job and made a valuable contribution” or ” He/she was with me for 10 years and performed satisfactorily” With Baby Boomers occupying many senior management and hiring level positions, their perceptions and cultural norms at the moment tend to carry more weight, so their thoughts naturally dominate some areas of corporate thinking. Over the next few years that dominance will gradually disappear as they head towards retirement.

However , as a result of this perception, currently candidates are generally more likely to be asked to account for why they left a company or job, than why they stayed.

Good reasons for leaving or staying

So perhaps what needs to be examined are the reasons for leaving (or staying in) a job and the contribution an individual made while in post. Candidates need to be prepared to explain their career choices, backed up by metrics and employers need to keep an open mind and ask the right questions. How do we assess what the optimum time to spend in a job really is – if indeed there is one? There will probably be no standard answer and the time period will always vary from one industry, employer or job to another.

For candidates who exhibit job movement I would always look for (and advocate for) a candidate who had acquired transferable or new skills in a variety of jobs, was strategically trying to find what they were good at or enjoyed, especially if they gained some sort of positive experience in the process: international, cross sector or cultural. This can be achieved in a number of different companies, just as equally as in the same one.

Red flags

Red flags for me would be candidates who were fired repeatedly over an extended period of time (although Ted Turner says ” There’s nothing wrong with being fired” ), who complained about the work they did, emerged with no demonstrable results or additional skills, bad mouthed their companies, bosses or colleagues and who professed to being bored with every move they made.

Moving around early in a career can even be advantageous, but at a certain point some focus especially mid – career from a corporate point of view would currently be expected. In these turbulent times it’s hard to know exactly when that might be. Many successful business gurus would suggest that not getting fired, is also about not getting fired up.

Changing business environments

Loyalty benefits such as additional vacation days , pension plans and other perks were designed to reward employees, but also to tie them into a company long-term. We are moving towards times when these traditional benefits perhaps are becoming less relevant or even non-existent. The traditional workplace structure is changing. As the cost of office space soars, we have seen the introduction of “hot desking” and modern communication methods making home and virtual offices feasible. Short term contracts are being introduced to reduce salary bills. Companies no longer provide pension schemes in the same way and corporations outsource many functions on a project management basis anyway. Employees now want to take self financed “gap breaks” and reduce their commuting times. So it seems that there is a natural evolution going on in terms of expectation from both the hiring company and the job seeker. It suggests that assessment methods by hiring and recruitment managers will also need change in response to these new circumstances.

So could we envisage a situation arising when all generations move through the labour market with greater frequency without negative connotations and the use of the pejorative term job hopping?

Do current economic imperatives mean that we are all destined to become career movers? Would that even be a bad thing?
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What do you think?

The Lipstick Jungle: Get me out of here!

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Is there really a lipstick jungle – some would say so.

For many women, organisations are not safe places. Not only are they more likely to be bullied by a man, but also by another woman. For many the lipstick jungle is real and bullying leaves indelible scars, ultimately impacting their long-term view of their future career progression. Forbes research suggests as many as a third of women leave the workplace entirely for one reason or another, with 24% indicating straight dissatisfaction. Certainly my sources cited bullying as a major influence. With all the challenges both professional and financial that women face, staying at home with the kids (74%) becomes an attractive option to those in untenable situations.

Changing times
The pace of social change in the last 40 years seems to have left women, despite outstripping men academically, feeling uncertain on how to progress once they enter the workplace. With so-called high EQs, we think they intuitively know what to do, but all indications suggest they don’t. If they act like men, they’re damned. If they act like women, they’re damned too. This results in a maelstrom of confusion. Annabel Kaye reminded us that many bullies are not even aware of their behaviour and there is also a noticeable gap between management and political rhetoric and the realities of organisational life.

Traditional Steps
A further aspect of my research indicated that the support strategy many victims received from coaches generally focused on the healing process: restoration of confidence, letting go of anger and moving on, as well as responding with emotional intelligence. This is all essential, but all the women I was in touch with, without exception, went on to leave their organisations. The research also indicated that HR professionals and line management, despite paying lip service to ethical workplace practises, tend to respond only to hard facts and official complaints. So it seems that something is missing from the traditional process and that other more practical dimensions need to be added.

Early action
In the early days most victims I spoke to felt confused and intimidated by what was happening to them and quite often waited far too long before seeking support, sometimes many months down the line.

What is needed?

1 Creating an early, time bound, goal – related action plan is key and the earlier the better. If there is a gut feeling over a reasonable period of time that something isn’t right – then it probably isn’t…. somewhere. So investigate. Treat this sensation like any other malaise. A pain in the shoulder, a sore foot, a stomach ache. Would you sit there feeling increasingly debilitated by a physical symptom without investigation? No. Highly unlikely. We can’t sit there and wait for someone to step in and rescue us either – all indicators suggest that this is unlikely to happen.

2. Defining the context is necessary now. Facts talk. Finding out the guidelines for bullying behaviour in your geographic region, sector or company is a must. Do these companies have a grievance process or a written policy on respectful workplace practises? These are your benchmarks, so establishing what they are and being familiar with the content is important. Knowing your rights and precisely when they are being transgressed is also more empowering than “feeling” bullied. It also will tell you if the line has been crossed into harassment which is legally defined. If this is the case, seek legal and psychological support immediately.

3. Evaluation of personal performance is next and being clear that all aspects of performance and presence in the workplace are up to scratch. Somewhat contentiously, I actually don’t think that because a person feels bullied, that it necessarily means that they are. I received enough emails from managers, both men and women who struggled to cope with “emotional meltdowns ” from female employees. This is something we women have to work on. So try and get into business neutral.

4. Evaluation of where this treatment lies on this benchmark spectrum is now important. Be realistic and neutrally objective.

5. Keeping a log of the incidents is one of the most significant things that can be done at this point. What is being established is a pattern of inappropriate or unreasonable behaviour. Most companies have formal channels for communicating performance or job related issues. This is another benchmark. Is the communication stepping outside these channels? If it is, times and dates should be noted. In addition to putting things into context for the victim, an audit trail and timeline for any future grievance or legal process and constructive dismissal is also being established.

6. Asking for detailed qualification is one sure way of deflecting verbal abuse and criticism in a calm and business neutral way. A common theme was that criticism was often emotive, imprecise and colloquial. Phrases including, heat and kitchens, stepping up, getting in the zone, knowing the door/score etc were commonly used. Counter that with specific questions” How do you suggest… ”

7. Paraphrasing is another great technique for reaching an understanding ” Have I understood correctly…” Confirming that in writing is essential. We have also learned that there is no point engaging with a bully head on. This is what they love, to bait a victim until they lash out inappropriately or get upset, especially if they have an audience. Then they really have a case against the victim. Somewhat incredulously, I have heard horror stories about computers and email accounts being hacked by bully bosses (as well as lockers and desks). Without seeming too “Nancy Drew” like, I would suggest sending a blind copy of any correspondence to a secure private email account and keeping a hard copy in a safe place outside the office.

8. Strategic Action
As an ex – corporate HR professional if any employee comes with a dossier of documented instances of abusive or inappropriate behaviour, they know they are obligated to investigate it. They also know there is a potential law suit waiting in the wings. The victim’s fear is of course is that any action will make things worse. If it does, note any further instances of inappropriate behaviour, because this now is really crossing the line into harassment.

There are always solutions and it’s up to us women to find them. Combining traditional coaching techniques to restore confidence, self-esteem and general healing is vital. But there also needs to be a focus on strategies to highlight these issues within organisations in a way that will allow victims to be heard. Decision makers will not only be forced to take note, but to act, before it’s too late for all parties.

Why? Because no one else will! And the lipstick jungle will go on.

This continues my series of bullying by women in the work place. Please see previous posts: Bitch or Bully: The Pink Elephant, The Lipstick Jungle, Mascara Mafia , The Petticoat Polemic

If you need support with bullying and harassment – get in touch.

The Petticoat Polemic: The Role of the Organisation in Bullying

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The role of the organisation in bullying
This research project has been eye-opening in many ways. So many interesting and contentious points have been raised that it has taken me a while to synthesise them. What is the role of the organisation in bullying? What do they do about this phenomenon? Answer – not a lot!

Human Shield
Organisations it seems are lucky. If they don’t insist on a gagging order as part of a legal settlement, many of the victims who contacted me wanted to protect the identities not only of the perpetrators, but the organisations they worked for. They are therefore facilitating repeat offending. As Annabel Kaye told us, despite workplace ethics handbooks the size of a telephone directory, many bullies are not tackled by organisations until the 6th offence. I expected naming and shaming – but not at all. That surprised me.

Additionally targets engaged in coaching programmes, many coaches encourag “moving on” from the experience and “letting go”. Although I can see some logic in that for the individual, it may not be helpful to avoid repetition in the future. So even more indirect organisational protection!

Anger at HR
Another ongoing complaint was about the perceived passivity of HR professionals in any support process, to the point where many felt it bordered on enablement. One important factor to remember is that HR departments work for the organisation – not you.

To give HR professionals a chance to respond and to let us all know where they all were while this bullying was going on , I started a discussion on LinkedIn. The main charge was specifically the need for a formal complaint before any mediation took place. This also produced interesting feedback. Why? Well it seems that HR specialists have their own challenges.

It would appear that organisations want hard facts before any intervention.

Nicola J, HR Manager with a Fortune 500 company, commented ”women in the workplace are in a double bind, but this also applies within the HR function,which in many companies is now a heavily “female” function. When I did step in to support a female bully victim, I was accused of exaggerating and being too “emotional”.

James P, HR Director of a US Investment organisation, told me in a recent case in his organisation of a woman bullying another woman, his intervention produced 3 words ” heat, kitchen, out ” He too it would seem, was accused of a gender based response of being overly “protective” towards a female employee

Senior level acceptance
However, the one consistent comment was that when there is a tolerance of bullying entrenched at senior levels, it is very difficult to deal with directly. Very often the most effective way of tackling it was obliquely .Manmeet Singh Fox, HR Director at SmithBucklin Corporation elaborates “In some cases it’s a matter of finding the workaround rather than going head on with a bully…”

This is indeed also my own observation. Companies create damage limitation policies, only stepping in when the bottom line is badly hit and key positions remain open for extended periods, departmental goals are not being met or when litigation lurks. In other words when business is negatively impacted.

It is really important for any targets of bullying to de-personalise the situation, get into business neutral and link their experience to the business and the impact of this situation on their performance.

Ideal World
Manmeet suggests that in an ideal world it is in ”the organization’s best interests to proactively influence stakeholders in the senior ranks with data on the impact of the individual’s bullying behavior (turnover, morale, risk of litigation, etc.), providing org-wide training and demonstrating consistent adherence to existing respectful workplace policies, delivering performance goals, reviews and performance improvement plans which specify expectations and measures of desired behaviors… “.

With the increasing economic influence of women in the market place, there has to be a growing imperative to harness that energy into corporate life, otherwise industry and business will be out of touch with their markets. So corporations are surely ignoring this demographic at their peril. But it seems that they do – until they have to.

Gill Weston adds ” Essentially, both the bully and the bullied need help – whether in the form of guidance and counselling, and/or training and mentoring – and HR should ensure that this isn’t just offered, but taken up. And finally, HR should act to uncover the causes of conflict… this needs to be tackled and a culture of harmony restored“

A maelstrom of confusion
The final theme was one of mixed messages in the workplace, but also a maelstrom of both confused and confusing behaviour. Françoise G ,HR Director in a French multi-national shared the caveat about the level of false alarms “Women in corporate life also have to retrain themselves to reduce their emotional reactions to certain workplace situations. I am in no way diminishing the impact of systemic bullying, but while some women rush to the bathroom in tears if their work is even mildly criticised or at some other perceived slight, many genuine cases are not taken seriously, because so many cry “wolf”. ”

Changing corporate culture
So it seems that a priority must be to start changing corporate cultures.

But how?

Beyond the gender bind
With female graduates storming into the workforce at higher rates than ever before, organisations need to learn how to maximise the performance of this significant demographic and set up training systems and workplace practices in response to this development.

These young women also need to learn necessary skills to be effective in the workplace, including strategies to neutralise business situations constructively. This should help reduce the need to run to the bathroom in tears.
The men and women who are already there, need to acquire the training needed to manage and supervise them correctly. There should be no need for anyone to cry.
HR need to be allowed the neutrality and given the teeth and trusted to act independently outside expected gender role stereotyping.
Staff need to be trained to stage bystander interventions.
But above all corporate leaders need to learn that they can’t ignore these problems and action is required before law suits appear, or negative quarterly results tell them that something is amiss. By then it is already too late. Bullying is a business issue.

What do you think?

Women and workplace bullying. This continues my series, please see the previous posts: Bitch or Bully?The Pink Elephant, The Lipstick Jungle: Female Saboteurs and Mascara Mafia:To Debate or Not?

If you need support to deal with bullying and harassment – get in touch.

Mascara Mafia: To Debate Or Not?

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This continues my series researching the bullying of women By women in the work place. See my 2 posts to date: Bitch or Bully: The Pink Elephant and The Lipstick Jungle: Female Saboteurs

The response

I originally set out to benchmark a client’s experience. If I had any preconceived notions, they were centred around bullying being a predominantly male activity and simply wanted to investigate corporate checks and balances, as well as any legal deterrents that dealt with this problem. I have to confess that I also secretly hoped to prove the findings of the New York Times wrong. Somewhat predictably, this sadly, was not to be. My in-box started filling up almost immediately. Broadly speaking the responses fell into 3 categories and can be paraphrased as follows:

Well done Dorothy for highlighting a difficult and sensitive issue which we need to acknowledge and tackle on many levels
What on earth are you thinking Dorothy? Don’t we women have enough obstacles to progression without you dredging up this sort of stuff?
Heart breaking case studies, including what sounded like psychotic abuse in some instances, accompanied by pleas for support

Difficult issue

Yes, the question of the bullying of women is sensitive.

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As more and more women pursue professional careers (60% of European graduates are now female) I actually don’t think that this is a topic we can pretend doesn’t exist.

In fact I firmly believe that to do so is not only bad for women, it’s bad for business and…

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And it won’t go away on its own.

Annabel Kaye Managing Director or Irenicon Ltd UK tells me that victims of female bullying “leave and find another job without complaining at all. On average we find our ‘complainers’ turn out to be the sixth victim. Others come forward if our people are seen to be gaining ground. However many of our complainers settle quietly, signing ‘gagging clauses’ that mean they cannot testify if others come forward and the problem of bullying is buried once again beneath the surface … but the feeling is that it is healthier to move on rather than fight, which leaves systematic bullies and bullying institutions unchallenged and ready for their next crop of victims.

Are women more susceptible to bullying?

Sharon Eden contends “This is a far more complex situation than gender. Being susceptible to bullying also depends on psychological make-up and culture. People who are raised in families or from cultures where assertiveness is frowned on, and politeness and passivity valued, will be more at risk of being bullied in ‘Western type’ organisations.”

Anne Perschel told me “Boys in most cultures are raised with an expectation that they will be a physical aggressor or defender. This may be in the context of the hunt, an invasion or warding off intruders. Girls are not raised with such expectations. As children our play it is in large part, a rehearsal for future roles. Girls do not rehearse for aggression to the degree that boys do. So in grown up life, when a woman is bullied, she doesn’t have the response repertoire easily available. Bullies feed on this. I’ve seen it. When a bully is on the attack, if the victim backs up in fear, the bully keeps aggressing. There have also been suggestions that testosterone is associated with more risk-taking and aggressive behaviors, so it is possible that biology plays a role as well.”

Corporate Culture

However, it’s also about the organisational culture and what is perceived to be acceptable. My own experiences have been centred on men bullying men, but when that happened in all 3 cases the CEOs were themselves bullies and this modus operandi had become the corporate cultural norm.

Annabel reminds us that “Often the perpetrators are oblivious to their behaviour talking about ‘strong leadership’, ‘tough decisions’ when the reality is they demonstrate the opposite. A strong organisation can tackle these issues successfully – but the fish rots from the head and often it is the board themselves that initiate behaviours that stimulate and encourage bullying. The ‘strong’ thrive on challenge – but the ‘weak’ crumble.

Double bind

All the commentators I consulted agreed without exception, that women in the workplace and in leadership positions, or en route, are in a double bind. As Anne suggests “Women are expected not to be aggressive. It’s okay and expected from men. If they lead with emotional and social intelligence, they don’t get as much credit or notice as do men. We expect women to be social, communal, nurturing and supportive of others. We don’t expect it so much from men, so when they behave accordingly, they are viewed as more extraordinary than a woman who exhibits these same behaviors”

Skewed view

Is it just me or is there something wrong with this picture?

Women emulating assertive male behaviour for advancement in organisations are perceived negatively… and we talk about that.
Women not emulating male behaviour, don’t advance, are again perceived negatively … but we talk about that too.
Women advancing themselves via “mascara mafia” tactics are actually behaving negatively, very often go unchallenged and …we don’t talk about it very much at all!

Go figure!

Need to highlight

So no, I don’t think that highlighting an issue that negatively impacts women’s perceptions, performance and progression in the workplace should detract from any advances we would like to make in other areas. Neither should it draw attention away from the impact of any other barriers to progression. In the meantime, women slug it out in sub – board room roles, leading to high job turnover, reduced engagement as well as health issues.

Isn’t it understandable how lower level, lower paid, lower stress jobs become attractive options when women have to factor in family considerations? Where are the men in all of this? Well , they are still sitting pretty at the top. In these positions they will continue to define corporate norms and values and their criteria for what makes a good manager and leader will prevail. In the meantime, women will remain confused and disenchanted, below the glass ceiling.

But as in most cases women have to help themselves and each other to create more secure and meaningful professional lives and business environments, even if it means confronting and finding solutions to eliminate unacceptable behaviour within our own ranks, and putting our own “house” in order. Just as parents who find their teenager has lost his/her way or companies realise they have a product that tanked, it is not the end of the world as we know it. The instances of extreme dysfunctional abuse aside , it’s a problem that can be resolved. There are almost always solutions and we women have to find them.

Why? Because no one else is going to do it for us.

What do you think?

The Lipstick Jungle: Female saboteurs

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Bullying by Women in the Workplace – Part

The sabotaging of women BY women. As part of my series of bullying by women in the work place started in “Bitch or Bully: The Pink Elephant” Now we are looking at female saboteurs.

Complex and confusing

I am exploring a number of complex and often confusingly over lapping issues. I have consulted a global network of HR professionals, lawyers, bullying specialists, psychologists as well as executive coaches and leaders. My LinkedIn poll “Have you experienced bullying in the workplace by a woman?” is still running. Please take it if you haven’t already! Interestingly, although the numbers have been slowly climbing, the percentage analysis has remained consistent. 51% of those polled claim they have personally been bullied by a woman and 25% indicate that they have witnessed it.

These figures reflect all the statistics I have seen elsewhere, dashing my hopes once and for all of disproving their theories. It would seem that despite the increasing number of females in the workplace, many statistics suggest that the business environment has become potentially a more hostile place for many women.

How could this be?

Isabella Lenarduzzi , the founder of Blog Jump, a Belgian organisation for the advancement of women in the workplace makes this comment:

“Studies have shown that relationships can either be the best or the worst thing to happen to women at work: women have a greater capacity than men to affect one another’s professional performance–with better results for all if their interaction is good, and worse results if it is not.”

So what happens when interaction is not good?

Research also shows that women bully other women 2.5 times more frequently than they target men. The bullying weapons of choice in the arsenal of female saboteurs tend to be more subtle and the abuse of authority, carried out covertly and/or behind closed doors. Women are apparently also more likely to elicit the support of other women, either tacitly or actively, isolating the victim. This leads tp the creation of a “mascara mafia”, adding further to her distress and feelings of alienation.

So our WMD are vocabulary, body language, voice tone, isolation, humiliation and unreasonable or inappropriate demands. You might remember the experiences of my client Jane. Her case it seems is classic text-book and could be taken straight from the syllabus for Bullying 101. The irony is therefore not only are we more likely to be bullied by a man, women are also out ranking men in the harassment of their own gender

Silent Epidemic

This type of bullying, known by the United Nations’ International Labor Organization as the “silent epidemic,” is four times more prevalent than illegal, discriminatory harassment. Because this type of activity is not illegal, even when complaints are made, HR departments or employers are reluctant to pursue the perpetrator. Very often they know what is going on, but choose to ignore it.

Female bullying is usually more covert and does not involve physically abusive. This is no less damaging, but more difficult to audit and also to prove. Very often (as in Jane’s case) it is accompanied by unsupportive comments about a need to be less sensitive and more assertive. Annabel Kaye Managing Director of UK law firm Irenicon asserts that it can take up to six complaints about the same person to instigate an investigation.

Why do we women sabotage each other?

So one bemused question has popped up throughout this research: Isn’t life tough enough for us you ask? Sharon Eden offers one explanation:

“Sociological research has indicated it seems to be a biological imperative that women compete for the ‘best’ male so that their offspring are more likely to survive. This spills over into the executive suite where men still predominate and some psychologically unaware women wipe out the female ‘opposition’ for male attention”

So at some primal sub-conscious level in our lipstick jungle, it would appear that we are clearly brushing down our business suits and sharpening our French manicures in order to compete for the attention of the best males, by annihilating any actual or perceived threats …anyway we can. As these men tend to be found at the top of the pyramid the “battle” intensifies.

Research on bully behaviour and harassment at the Workplace Bullying Institute also suggests that regardless of gender, bullying is deeply rooted in insecurity resulting in a need for power and control, with the perpetrator seeking out a perceived weaker employee to dominate. This process actually makes the bully feel better about themselves.

It’s about power and control

Mary Pearson, who has been writing about bullying for a number of years elaborates “A workplace bully, whether male or female, ensures their intimidation tactics are witnessed. They gain control over a larger group by isolating and victimizing one or two people, more brutally than others. It’s a similar tactic to what a terrorist uses instilling fear in a community through picking a single victim”.

But can it also be that in our desire to get to the top the communication style of women is misunderstood? Can our attempts at being tough turn into bullying? Perhaps we are we caught between the gender stereotyping equivalent of a rock and a hard place. Damned if we do. Damned if we don’t

Isabella suggests “Women in leadership positions find themselves with an identity dilemma: if they act like a typical male leader, they are perceived as ‘hard’ or ‘cold’, because their behaviour jars with that of the stereotypical woman”

Many just give up

Although this goes someway to explaining some aspects of the problem, the “hard ” approach of mimicking male behaviour, it doesn’t cover the type of pernicious and inexplicable treatment that Jane and so many others experience. As Annabel Kayesuggested in my last post, many victims are so ground down, they simply resign.

So while we women bleat endlessly about glass ceilings, timidity at the negotiating table, and under representation in a corporate world, there seems to be very strong indications that in many cases we are actually our own worst enemies. The concentration of females in the corporate population hovers below board level. While there are obviously other legitimate factors preventing advancement, it would seem that part of this blockage is that many women directly sabotage their female colleagues or subordinates and therefore ultimately themselves.

At some point we have to take responsibility for this. The question is how.

What do you think?

Get in touch if you need help dealing with workplace bullying.

Red Alert Resumés

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Why red alert resumés send out a warning signal.

I’m going to come clean. I hate functional CVs. With a passion.

As someone who reads possibly hundreds of CVs a week, there is nothing more frustrating than reading a list of qualities and so called achievements and still having very little idea of what the candidate did, does now and where he/she did or didn’t do, what they claim they could do in the future.

See how confusing it is?

Smoke screens
The notion of a functional CV seems to be put forward by career columnists and consultants who no longer work, or have never worked, in search and recruitment. It is one of the major red alert resumés

Ironically what totally functional CVs do is send out an immediate warning to any savvy recruiter that something isn’t aligned with the required job profile. Functional CVs are in effect a smoke screen. They are a band -aid thought up to help candidates feel better, without necessarily producing better results.

Functional CVs take time to figure out and most recruiters do not have the time to work anything out at all. Those abstract ideas included in a functional CV are supposed to supplement content not distract from it, or worse still , replace it. We want ” eureka,” not head scratching moments. No content at all will almost certainly mean hitting the reject pile.

Functional CVs are based on self assessment. To give them any meaning metrics are needed. “Strongly entrepreneurial ” could mean anything from running a garage sale, to your own business. Turnover figures and market demographics are needed. So why not say you ran your own business with dates and figures and save everyone a lot of time.

“Financial acumen ” is another one I frequently see. If this acumen is gained in a Fortune 500 company, or as a School Treasurer with a budget of millions of Euros, then that sends out a different message to managing a lunch group with a budget of several hundred, kept in a tatty envelope in a desk drawer.

Context matters

Functional CVs send out the following possible messages:
• There could be a lack of required experience or gaps in a CV (including time off for parenting)
• There has been some short term roles still seen by some as job hopping.
• There has possibly been a termination (firing or redundancy)
• There could be unrelated work experiences
• There are possibly skills acquired outside the workplace rather than in it: volunteer work or social or sporting activities
• Most recent work experience is not relevant to the job, but past experience is
• There perhaps has been a period of self-employment, freelancing or consulting
• There are concerns about age at both ends of the spectrum

Identifying transferrable skills plays a key part in the creation of a powerful resume. For me, their rightful place is in a strong mission statement, which is a quick snap shot of your skills and achievements. But they do need to be put into context, with a clear career chronology and details of your educational and personal development background. One line manager I dealt with recently almost binned the functional CV of a potential candidate because he thought it was a long (and very boring) cover letter, not a resume!

Camouflaging
The antennae of any experienced recruiter are finely attuned to identify immediately the lengths anyone might go to hide their concerns. Elaborate camouflage techniques can jeopardize chances of being selected for interview, just as surely as a straightforward explanation of your circumstances and the actions you have taken to deal with them. Understanding those challenges and gaining insight into yourself and the skills that were required to overcome them will prove to be vital, not just in the creation of a resume but in the interview process.

Being up front can help

If you lost your job last year – say so. Lots of people did. If you retrained, attended courses and volunteered that sends an important message about how you responded to the challenge.
If you are in a certain age demographic, then I agree, don’t put your date of birth, simply because you maybe cut by ATS. But do make every effort to be up to date and current – and say so.
If you have relevant experience early in your career you might need a refresher course or to completely re-train. Do it and then say so!
Avoid the use of the word ”problems”. Of any kind. Recruiters home in on that word and then avoid it like the plague.
If you have been fired – don’t say so, but be prepared to offer a constructive explanation. If you have been fired repeatedly, then some self-examination or professional support would seem imperative.
If you took time out to raise a family – say so . What you did during that period to stay professionally connected will show.
If you are young and trying to demonstrate potential and have very specific achievements which you can highlight with metrics. Say so.
If you freelanced, set up your own business or consulted – say so. That requires very different skills to being a full time employee. What are those skills? Share them.

So on balance, is it really best to deal with any issues up front and early?

I think so.

Bitch or Bully: The Pink Elephant

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Bitch or bully? It can be a fine line

Part I of 5 in my series on bullying by women in the work place. Starting with Bitch or Bully?

When does bitchiness, strong or bad management cross the line into workplace bullying?

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A few weeks ago I was contacted by a client. I’ll call her Jane. She was struggling to have a successful and equable working relationship with her new boss of 9 months. Her husband thought she needed to “step up , toughen up and be more assertive”. Whatever was going on was impacting her negatively. She felt she was wearing the departmental scarlet letter, sleeping badly, starting to dread going into work and feeling distanced from her colleagues.

Not only did she feel that she was being singled out for exceptional treatment, but that she was being openly bullied. What had surprised Jane the most in the whole process was that her new boss was a woman.

Double bind

We also have to factor in that we have stereotyped notions of how women are expected to behave that puts women in a double bind. They are supposed to be more passive and collaborative and when they do step up and become assertive they are accused of being bullies. We are far more tolerant of dynamic behaviour from men and don’t receive it as being negative, but as “leader-like.”

A can of worms

For me this opened a mental can of worms. What exactly is bullying? Did I really know? When does strong management and bitchiness cross the line into tyranny? How prevalent is the issue of bullying by women? Do we really sweep it under the carpet? Is this issue the pink elephant in our sitting rooms that we don’t talk about?

In my own career I have worked in environments where I have witnessed bullying of the most appalling nature both physical and psychological, so I thought I knew what it was. In one extreme case it led to a complete nervous breakdown, in the other chronic depression leading to heavy drinking and marital breakdown. I have a family member who actually received a written death threat from a senior manager. In many of our minds it’s associated with raging, verbal and physical abuse, Machiavellian sabotaging and back stabbing. I have never been in a situation where the perpetrator was a woman. So where are all those soft skills, empathy and high EQ that we are supposed to have and read about?

Jane’s story she was:

regularly singled out for public criticism about her work and appearance
frequently called into bosses office at 17.20 to be given additional work with tight deadlines
excluded from email circulation lists and meetings
the only person in the department not invited to a social event at boss’ house
fobbed off when she made attempts to discuss this with her manager had been dismissed with contempt
told by the HR department that they would only get involved if a formal complaint was made

So what is bullying really?

Annabel Kay of Irenicon offersthis legal input about the UK legal system “Interestingly at the moment there is no actual legal definition in terms of a statute defining it, the ACAS code and case law provide a guide (common law) – but that is it. “

Another lawyer in the US confirmed this “although harassment has a clear legal definition, bullying does not, only guidelines”.

Constant humiliation

Jane Perdue suggests that “Bullying is behavioral based actions that repeatedly humiliate, intimidate, frighten, offend someone, making them feel defenseless, particularly coming from a person in position of authority or with much influence . Acts/behaviors can be overt or covert such as personal attacks or social ostracism. In my view bitchiness crosses the line when it’s repeated, takes on notes of intimidation & becomes a believable threat, particularly from a woman ”

Annabel goes on to add that “The real problem in dealing with bullying in the workplace is that by the time the ‘victim’ feels desperate enough to complain, they are in no fit state to endure the rigours of formal grievance hearings and appeals and possibly employment tribunals .”

A Poll

The New York Times says that today 70% of cases of women reporting being bullied was by other women. This seemed incredibly high and feeling loyal to the sisterhood, I decided to conduct my own poll on LinkedIn. Have you ever been bullied in the workplace by a woman? Please take a few seconds to participate and read the results to date. It will be open until the end of the April.

Within 24 hours I had over 100 responses and my mail box flooded with stories, insights and perceptions, too many to cover here on the whole issue of female bullying.

In the meantime I am going to collate all the comments and feedback. I have invited leadership specialists, HR practitioners and communication experts to contribute their views over the next few weeks. Here are just a few of your thoughts that have been tossed out to me:

If someone feels bullied – does that mean they are, or just being sensitive?
When does strong or tough management cross the line into intimidation?
Do women feel they have to act like men in en route, to leadership positions?
Do reports expect female managers to behave differently?
Why do women sabotage other women?
Are women easier to bully than men?
What should the role of HR be in dealing with issues such as this?
When does passivity become enabling?

In case you think I’ve forgotten about Jane, this process is ongoing.

What do you think? Workplace bitch or bully? Or are they one and the same?

Part 2: The Lipstick Jungle: Female Saboteurs

Part 3: The Mascara Mafia

Part 4: The Petticoat Polemic: the role of the organisation

Part 5: Whatever happened to Jane?

Tennis and job search

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Yes really … there’s a connection

OK – bear with me! I know at least one Olympic sportsman who might smile at this post and other high level athletes among you who could well howl laughing. I’m clearly not some sporting, ATP wunderkind champion, turned coach, just an ordinary, club level tennis enthusiast, of a certain age, with certainly more enthusiasm than skill. Like most of us! Which is why this will resonate.

Like you I play a sport. My game is tennis. Sort of. By that I mean I turn up at my club, with the right equipment, correctly attired and I participate. I like to win, but like many women will lose gracefully if I feel I’ve played well. Truthfully, I’m thrilled if I win. Sound familiar?

The right question

A life time of high impact sport has left me with a hip injury, not life threatening, just wear and tear. When I heard the news I was upset. It seemed my tennis playing days were over. Happily for me, my doubles group ( singles games rest firmly in my past) had a tennis coach who gently suggested that I was asking the wrong question. The question he told me I should be asking ask myself was not how much longer could I play tennis, but how well could I play tennis with a dodgy hip? Bearing in mind of course I live in a country where tennis and chocolate are national pastimes and are given serious consideration in equal measure. My next question will certainly be “how can I lose weight and still eat chocolate?”.

Strategy

When the mind is willing but the hip is weak and you can’t play tennis with your legs, even at my very basic level, you have to play with your head (not forgetting the racquet and balls of course). We worked on strategies to win points early in the rally (tip: move me around the court for too long and unless you make a mistake… the point is yours). He strengthened my net game, serve, slice and lob. Because I can’t chase balls down like Justine, Serena or Kim (not that I ever could!), I have to step back and construct a point strategically. I have to think ahead. I have to look for gaps. I have to tell my partners they might have to step in as the “legs”. This involves communicating and taking a few risks. Some work well and actually… some are spectacularly unsuccessful. And I lose not only the point, but the game.

So how is this a metaphor for job seekers?

• It means seeking good advice and support.
• It means letting go of negative self sabotaging “can’t do, give up ” thinking and replacing it with ‘how can I?” thoughts.
• It means staying real and working on something achievable in small steps.
• It means recognising weak points in our backgrounds and experience that can make us vulnerable. But understanding that it doesn’t mean we are out of the game.
• It means that we have to adapt, learn new skills to overcome any deficits.
• It means practising. Repeat actions produce results.
• It means not taking set backs to heart. Change the strategies as required. Missing one shot doesn’t mean we’re failures – it just means we missed that particular shot.
• It requires self insight and open communication with ourselves and judiciously, when the time is right with any colleagues and / or employers.
• It means having a plan and a strategy that makes us think ahead in our chosen game.
• It means also having a Plan B

But more than anything else it means asking ourselves the right questions.

Anyone for golf perhaps?

Special thanks to Silvana Delatte ( a great tennis buddy) who thought this story was worth recounting.